A Man Assumes

This is who I am. I’m sorry if I disappoint you. Or you worry about me. Well, not sorry like it upsets me. But sorry that you can’t read about things from my heart and mind without thinking there’s something deeper wrong with me. In writing my blog, I have been freed from the masks we wear each day. I have been able to express my thoughts on a whole range of topics that I’ve thought about and want to share. And the feedback has been incredibly supportive of that from people who truly know me. But you hear whispers coming from other corners. That I’m writing these things because I have some kind of irreparable issue. Well, I’m here to tell you that I do. It’s a terrible affliction. But I’ll manage. You see, my biggest problem is… that I’m human.

This topic lit a fire under me!

It seems that people are afraid of some things. For me at the moment, the thing I’m noticing most is that some people are afraid of exploring their inner selves and moving towards a deeper understanding of life and purpose. They look at what I’m writing and project this fear onto me. Now, I’m no psychologist, nor would I ever profess to be one, but I reckon that this could well be far more about them than about me. I’m not quite sure what it is about my writing that’s getting to them, but if they’re going to keep reading, my suggestion is this: read, reflect, choose, move on. Don’t make assumptions about others. Who are you to judge what I write about or to diagnose me with some kind of problem? I can tell you unequivocally that the worst problem in my life right now is an occasional bout of writer’s block!

Of course, sometimes people are triggered by things that others do. Something pops up from their unconscious mind. So they put a label on the other person so that they don’t have to deal with the trigger in themselves. It’s far easier to identify the feeling that they have as the other person’s problem, rather than something they may have to work on themselves. I’ve thought about lots of things that are potentially confronting for people. This might be especially so if they’re not as open to growth, or maybe if they’re not as comfortable with sharing experiences as I am. Perhaps they are worried that if they admit imperfection, people will see them for who they really are! Well, I can tell you, that’s not a bad thing.

Making assumptions is a huge part of the way we organise our thoughts about the world around us. It has its place, because we simply can’t know everything about everything

I assume there are snakes in the grass!

and everyone. So we need to be able to make decisions about how we behave in different circumstances based on a few assumptions. Assumptions can come from a few places. Sometimes they come from wishful thinking, other times they are based on past experience with different people. But oftentimes they are simply our imagination making guesses about what somebody else is thinking. This can lead to so many awful places, that it doesn’t bear thinking about! We end up truly believing our assumptions – so much so that we confuse our assumptions with the facts. We’ve all seen one of those conversations where someone has assumed that a lady is pregnant… and she’s not!

How do we avoid the rocky road of assumption? Well, I’ve never been a fan of rocky road, so I’m quite keen on this. But I’m also keen on science and an empirical approach. I think the way forward is simple. Collect evidence. Deal with facts. Respond accordingly. Don’t assume. It’s dangerous and probably says more about you than it does about the victim of your assumption.

So, I tell you where I am, people who assume. I am embracing all of me. I am in an incredible position in my life. I have so many opportunities to experience new things. And as each day goes by, I feel I am creating more and more of these opportunities. If you read everything I have written so far, you’ll know that I’m feeling creative, active and willing to be vulnerable. I’m getting outdoors, I’m writing, I’m making choices for me. I’m living my life as the authentic me. Are there things I still want to improve upon? Lots! But who doesn’t?! I have never felt more positive – I know that my future is only limited by the depths of my dreams. And trust me. They run deep.

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